I hear this a lot, “balance matters!”, “life work balance”, balance this and balance that…
In my opinion message should be “In order to find balance, you must know what obsession is”
How can you find balance if you don’t know what obsession is. How can you find “Work / Life Balance” if you don’t know what hard work is!
Balance to me is finding mid-ground between two points, so how can you find a middle without knowing both points. It’s like trying to balance a stick on your finger without being able to see it or touch it.
Obsession and Goals
Every new goal in life requires a change, If you set a goal and want to achieve that goal, you have to change a flow of your life accordingly to that particular goal. Let’s say your goal is Fat Loss. You will have to make changes in the following: your nutrition, how active you are, actually go to the gym rather than just having a membership, lower stress, improve sleep. And believe me change in general is not easy, no matter how small it is, and the easiest way to make a change in life is to get obsessed with your goal, at least for short burst of time, till the changes you had to make are set in stone. Once you get a taste of what being obsessed with that particular thing is, then you will be able to find a balance. Long term, life lasting obsession is not sustainable, and in some cases might have negative effect in your life, but short bursts of it are absolutely necessary!
Obsession and Love
Let’s say you met someone and you fell in love with that person, all you can think about is that one person, you can’t focus, you can’t sleep, you can’t think anything else just how much you want to be with that one person. In a way Your mind becomes obsessed with that person and that’s a productive obsession, this obsession will be your motivation to keep going when things don’t go all rainbows and butterflies. And if things do go right this obsessiveness with time will grow into real, life lasting love.
Obsession and Hustle
And exactly the same thing goes with everything else in life. You want to start a side hustle or your own business?
You most likely don’t have a lot of resources to begin with.
Your energy is probably lacking because you’re working 8+ hours a day at your “real” job.
I think of it as a rocket that’s trying to escape Earth. You’re trying to get to the next level but you have all these forces weighing you down. You gotta keep pushing until you hit the tipping point (escaping the planet’s gravitational pull).
If you’re only giving 10%, how can you compete against the force that is at 99%? You will have to give your 100%! GET OBSESSED!
Instead of partying on the weekends you will have to read books about your new venture, because that’s the only time you will be free from your current “real” job and other day to day struggles. You will have to work on your business plan, marketing, social media, etc.
If you really want your new hustle become something that will let you leave your current unfulfilling job you will have no other option but to get obsessed and things like working 18 hour days will happen. And once it kicks off, you quit your “real” job then you can look into either keep being obsessed and keep pushing and getting to places you never thought you could, or take a little step back and find that “balance” because you simply want to enjoy other things that life has to offer more and you are just happy with what you achieved so far, and that’s fine too!
And it will take time, it will take more than couple of years of your life and you will need more than just a wish to keep you going, especially when things don’t go according to the plan, and things never go according to the plan, but no matter what, goal stays the same.
So if you’re starting off then YES you gotta be obsessed.
- You may have to sacrifice sleep.
- Your friends will keep asking “where you’ve been?”
- You won’t be caught up on all your favorite TV shows.
But I think that’s a small sacrifice for long term success and happiness.
Obsession in LIFE
Think long term over short term.
Being obsessed with a TV show on Netflix probably isn’t the best thing, but being obsessed with your goals is the fastest way to improvement. Goals change, so does your obsessions, that’s how you build experiences and learn new things, through obsession. Obsession is inspiring, motivating, by being obsessed with a certain goal you motivate other people to change and be better at what they do.
Obsession and hard work is contagious!Gedas Garuolis
And it applies to absolutely everything in life and some people still see obsession as negative thing. Think about it, You starting a family. All you want in life is your families well-being no matter how you see it fit, you only want to see your family happy, You want what’s best for them, you want to provide for them, you want to love them, and everything you do in life becomes for them and You as a family not an individual. And we all agree on this. But being obsessed with other goals in life sometimes we get judged for.
And by no means obsession is selfish, In my opinion healthy mind should work like this:
“I will get obsessed with getting fit and healthy for the next couple of years, so it motivates people around me, I can show up better for the people I love and care, because I simply have more energy, feel better, smile more, have more self love and the more you love yourself the more you will be able to love others”
Devoting these short bursts of productive obsession throughout life to different things is what makes life amazing.
And to me devoting these bursts of obsession at the right time to the right things is what balance is.
Yes obsession can be productive and unproductive.
How do you distinguish between productive obsession and unproductive obsession?
A productive obsession arises from our interests, passions, and meaning-making needs. An unproductive obsession arises from our doubts, fears, and anxieties. Because we’re a petty anxious species, most of our obsessions tend to be of the unproductive variety. For most people, it takes a bit of practice and intentionality to create productive obsessions, whereas unproductive obsessions tend to arise of their own accord out of our anxieties.
SET SOME GOALS, GET OBSESSED AND LET’S GO!